


Trading Air

by Vagabond



Series: The Many Adventures of Dr. Frederick Chilton [5]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Blow Job, Frederick Chilton is a sad puppy dog, Hand Job, Hurt/Comfort, I was working graveyard and this is what happened okay, M/M, Minor Descriptions of Gore, Relationship Study, Sort of anyway, man feelings, more nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2014-05-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 08:58:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1599125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vagabond/pseuds/Vagabond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frederick's unconscious mind loves to rip him to pieces and Will likes to put him back together again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trading Air

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when I work graveyard at a crisis hotline and don't get any calls. I write ChillyWilly.
> 
> I'm sorry I break Chilton but I also help put him back together so I hope that makes up for it. Title snagged from a song by Athlete of the same name.

There are hands inside of him, though he’s numb to the pain of it. It was a small mercy, the anesthetic that kept his brain from fully registering the fact he’s been sliced open and his organs are out on display for the world to see. He can still feel the pressure of dangerous hands cutting away at him though and as he tilts his head he meets Abel Gideon’s cold blue eyes and whimpers softly. There is a look of something that borders on pity in the other man’s gaze but it doesn’t keep him from removing his kidney. 

Frederick had been rather attached to his kidney and watches with a certain measure of sadness as it is lifted from his body. Outside of his belly it is just a mass of now slowly deteriorating tissue. Within him it had purpose, outside of him it was reduced to a meaningless blob of flesh. It wasn’t his anymore, it had been taken away from him and everything about that fact feels unfair. 

He’s being violated and he wants to cry but the tears don’t come. 

His lips move as he tries to get his tongue to cooperate. If nothing else he wants to go down swinging. He has a few good insults and witty comments left if he can just get his tongue to work with him but it feels thick and useless in his mouth. A small part of him wishes that Gideon would have taken his tongue instead of his kidney. At the moment his tongue was useless to him anyway. 

With a blink the dark room changes into one that is blindingly white and it is Hannibal Lecter standing over him now, watching with impassive amusement. His stomach is still sliced open, his innards falling out and he’s scrambling to try and push them back in. Frederick feels the hot tears on his face and hears a low chuckle as Hannibal watches him frantically attempt to push his organs back into his bleeding body. 

“Help me,” he whispers pathetically and then he hears a gun go off and feels the sting of a bullet tearing through his cheek, “someone help,” he pleads to the open air and the last thing he sees is Hannibal watching him curiously, like a cruel child who caught a butterfly and ripped off its wings and is now watching it just to see what happens next. 

“Frederick!” He hears his mother calling for him but he doesn’t respond. His nose is bloody and his knees are scraped up from falling on the pavement and he has bruises all along his side from where the older boys had kicked him. Frederick is hiding in the tree his father had taught him how to climb that his mother doesn’t know about and he cries softly to himself and grieves. He’s only ten but he’s smaller than most of the boys in his class and he likes books and discussing current events and even though he likes playing kickball no one ever wants to play with him. They just taunt him and stalk him on his walk home and jump him and beat him and all he feels is shame. 

So even as his worried mother passes beneath him he slaps a hand over his mouth to muffle his sobs and watches her continue her neighborhood search. He’ll slink home at some point, after he’s used the hose outside to wash off his face and has had time to compose himself and hide his wounds. She’ll never have to know that her son is a weak coward. 

He’s awake now, and he knows he’s awake because Will’s dogs swarm around him as they wander around the open field outside of the house. The nightmares and memories are still vivid in his mind and he hugs himself out in the cold, wrapped in one of Will’s jackets in an attempt to find comfort. There was a moment where he’d considered waking the other man up but he stuffed it all down and sought out solace outside with the dogs. Breathing in and out he wipes stubbornly at his wet cheeks and is silently grateful when Buster sits at his feet and leans against his shins. 

Frederick nearly jumps out of his skin when he feels a hand on his shoulder and more tears spring into his eyes because he’s certain it is Hannibal free from prison come to finish what he started. When he turns it is just Will and he’s enveloped in a firm hug and if he sobs openly for a few minutes into the other man’s shoulder, well, that’s just what his life has become. He puts his arms around Will’s waist and sinks into the embrace as his body trembles and he tries to chase away the memories of Abel Gideon’s hands inside of him, of Hannibal Lecter’s careless look, and of his mother’s worried cries as she searched for him. 

The fact Will rubs his back and whispers soothingly into his ear helps and soon his cries have quieted and he can breathe again. When he lifts his head he avoids eye contact and closes his eyes when Will’s thumbs come up to wipe away the tears. Then his lover’s fingers are carding through his hair and Frederick presses his forehead to Will’s jaw and just breathes him in. 

It is a song and dance they know all too well, the two broken men with their demons hanging over their heads. The nightmares were fewer and far between and for that Frederick was grateful but there were still nights where one or both of them were tormented by their unconscious minds. This morning it was Frederick’s turn to be wracked with visions of his past, but other mornings it was Will who would wake up coated in sweat and in need of a comforting hand. They were good for each other if only because they understood the other’s pain. 

Will leads him back inside, the dogs dutifully following, and in a blur of movement he’s been stripped of his clothes and pushed gently under a warm stream of water. Frederick sticks his head under the water and allows it to run over his face and rinse the tears away. Of course Will is with him, equally naked, and he runs his soapy hands over Frederick’s body and through his hair and helps wash away the nightmares. 

He rinses off the suds and is pulled back against Will’s chest. The other man’s fingertips trace his scar and at first he flinches because all he can think about are Gideon’s hands inside of him, but when Will’s lips touch his neck as his fingers continue touching the scar he feels himself easing into it. His head falls to the side slightly as he offers up more of his neck to his lover’s roaming mouth and he closes his eyes and whimpers when Will applies pressure to the scar on his belly. 

“Mine,” Frederick hears Will whisper into his skin and he likes the way it sounds, enjoys the note of possession in the other man’s tone. He’s not Hannibal Lecter’s toy, not Abel Gideon’s gift basket, not the victim of school yard bullies anymore. Frederick belongs to Will and Will would never hurt him, never rip open his stomach and take his organs, never drug him or frame him or push him down and kick him. Will has been kind to him and it is a weird feeling but Frederick has become so wrapped up in the other man he’s not sure what to do except submit to him. One day maybe Will might hurt him but in that moment his mouth and fingertips are sending his nightmares away and if he could live in this feeling forever he would. He’d let Will tease away every negative thought with each touch of his lips on Frederick’s skin. 

Will’s fingers wrap around his length and he’s not exactly sure when he became so aroused but now he’s rocking into the other man’s tight hand and gasping. His lover is whispering softly in his ear, reminding him that he is safe, that he is loved, that one day the nightmares will be gone and they will live free of torment. He accepts the lies because they make him feel better in the moment and turns his head to bury it in the side of Will’s neck as he moans and whimpers and squirms. 

It seems like an eternity and a second all at once as he feels the heat pool in his lower back and then rush out of him as his body tenses and he comes. Will whispers soothingly into his ear, telling him he’s beautiful as one hand continues to stoke him while the other strokes lovingly along the front of him. He rocks into the touches, comes down from his high and then slides down onto his knees and takes Will’s cock into his mouth. Frederick savors the weight of it against his tongue as his hands settle on his lover’s hips and he bobs his head. The noises Will makes are delightful and each one of them pulls Frederick further into reality and out of the dark memories that hover at the edge of his consciousness. 

Soon enough Will’s fingers are digging into his wet hair and Frederick relaxes his jaw and takes his lover in as he fucks his mouth and comes down his throat. He swallows it willingly and accepts the kiss after he’s pulled back up onto his feet and pushed against the wall of the shower. For a while they lazily exchange presses of lips and tongue as their hands slide along each other’s wet skin. The only thing that breaks their comfortable haze is the water going cold and they are forced to shut it off and get out of the shower. 

They towel off but don’t dress and the pair of them stumble back to bed to bury themselves under the blankets. Frederick continues touching Will, reminding himself that everything he is experiencing is real and the nightmares are gone, waiting for the day he wakes up in his nightmares and finally dies instead of being drawn back into the world where he and Will are together. Eventually his touching becomes sluggish and Will pulls him in and they tangle their bodies together in what would probably be an uncomfortable position if it weren’t for the fact they were both so desperate to become one. Frederick falls back asleep with his head pressed to Will’s chest, the other man’s heart beating solidly, reminding him that this is life and they are okay. 

He falls asleep and dreams of cold mornings and hot showers and Will’s devious mouth on his skin and all is well.


End file.
